let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
