i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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