You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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