This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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