Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
