I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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