So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
