I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
