This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
