She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
