32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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