Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
