My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
