he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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