he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
