I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
