would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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