This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
