Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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