Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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