I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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