I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
