Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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