Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
