Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
