so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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