So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
