i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
