Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
