So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
we should paint friendship bongs
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
