i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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