I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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