Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
