Nicole vs. Life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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