Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
