His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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