I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
