Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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