and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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