Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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