i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
