I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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