Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
