How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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