Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
