i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
