If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
