Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
