I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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