the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
