the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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