She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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