We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize