genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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