Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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