I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
