Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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