I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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