Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
